Men In Cloaks Coffee Quest
by Ender The Time Lady
Summary: The Men In Cloaks present to you a group project, written by all of us. New author each chapter, enjoy! Fair warning, LOTS of OC's, and we don't have much sanity. T for safety and whatnot.
1. The Coffee Is Stolen!

Quest for Coffee

A Group Project By The Men In Cloaks

EXPLINATION THING: This story is the joint efforts of the Men In Cloaks group. I will give the authors name before each chapter. The main thing to remember is that for the most part, this ain't me. The various OC's are just for the lulz, don't flame me. I own Zulla and nothing more. John Flanagan owns Rangers apprentice, RedRoseMana owns this chapter, and the various Men In Cloaks own their various OC's. Enjoy fair internet people!

It was a lazy day in Araluen and...what's that? Ok, apparently I am not allowed to start off with a boring introduction, so I'm going to have to come up with a new one. Ahem, here goes:

It would have been a lazy day in Araluen, had the ultimate crime not been committed: _the stealing of the COFFEE! _(dun dun dunnnnn!) The Rangers had no idea yet, of course, but they would soon find out...

"NOOOOOO!" The cry came from a purple-haired girlwho ran up the hill to the group lazing in the sunshine in a fit of panic, eyes wide.

"What's happened?" Will asked, instantly, sitting up. If Mana was not sarcastic, something was definitely up...

"THE COFFEE'S BEEN STOLEN!" Mana screeched and instantly nearly everyone was sitting up.

"The coffee's...been stolen?" Gilan said, a twitch in his eye. At a nod from Mana, he leapt up and started running around like a maniac, screaming "THE COFFEE'S STOLEN! THE COFFEE'S STOLEN! NOOOOO! IT CAN'T BE!"

"What's the big deal?" Horace shrugged and was glared at by nearly everyone. Halt was hyperventilating, Will looked close to a nervous breakdown and Zulla was tearing at her hair.

"Calm down!" Violet said quietly, flipping her black hair out of her brown eyes. "We have to think this through rationally -"

"RATIONALLY?" Gilan screeched. "OUR COFFEE'S STOLEN AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS BEING RATIONAL?" At this, an older version of Gilan stepped forwards, grabbed Gilan's shoulders and began to violently shake him.

"Snap out of it, Gilan!" he said. He let go and Gilan staggered around before shaking his head.

"Thanks, Gid," he grinned before running around again, shouting the same thing as before.

"If this is how they react when it's stolen, I hate to think what they'd do if it was destroyed," Auryon commented.

"THE COFFEE'S BEEN DESTROYED?" Halt, Will, Gilan, Mana and Zulla screamed.

"No, I never said that!" Auryon said fearfully, her hands in a mock-surrender position.

"So, what do we do?" Gideon said to the others.

"There's only one thing for it," Siobhan said in a mysterious voice. "We go on...a quest of _epic proportions_." (dun dun dunnnnnn!)


	2. Tavern Plots

AN: Here is chapter 2, written by LadyWallace. Do note that updates may take a while sometimes.

Chapter Two

_Redmont, a Tavern_

Everyone sat at a table in the back of a tavern, solemn faces all around. Mana came around with a tray of steaming mugs, but there was none of the heavenly aroma of the coffee they all craved.

"Tea?" Halt growled as he wrinkled his nose at the mug Mana handed him.

"It's all they had," she apologized.

Siobhan took hers and glowered down at it. "Well, gentlemen and ladies, it seems we have lots of plans to make if we want to get our coffee back."

"But who would take the coffee?" Will asked, his eyes wide with innocence.

Gilan was face first on the table looking to be in the uttermost depths of despair. Mira poked him and slid a mug of tea over to him.

"Tea?" she asked.

"NO!" Gilan moaned, his voice muffled by the table.

Zulla nodded seriously. "I feel you, Gil. I'm not drinking it either."

Auryon peeked out from behind the book she was reading and looked skeptically at her tea before taking a sip.

"Traitor!" Will gasped at her but she just ignored him.

"Sooo," Keiro said, as he inconspicuously tipped his cup of tea over the table edge. "What course of action should we take?"

"Well, there's really only one we _can _take," Halt said sarcastically. "FIND THE COFFEE!"

"And how are we going to go about doing that?" Brantley asked, looking through his arrows to make sure all the fletching was good.

"How are we even going to function with no coffee?" Zulla asked, close to hysterics again.

"Calm down, everyone," Violet said. "First we need to think about who could have stolen the coffee before we can think of getting it back."

"That's right," Siobhan said, tuning her fiddle and starting to play a tune on it. "Any ideas?"

Everyone contemplated for a moment then Mana pounded her fist on the table. "Skandians!"

"Not after the treaty," Auryon said. "Besides, they don't even drink coffee."

"A rogue band of coffee haters?" Keiro asked.

"Who hates coffee?" Will asked, blinking at everyone in disbelief.

"Rogue coffee haters," Zulla growled.

"We should ask around," Siobhan said. "See what we can find out. Everyone should go to a different part of the kingdom and see how far a circle the thieves have hit. Perhaps it is only Redmont that has no coffee. We don't know that yet."

Hope lit everyone's eyes at the thought that not all the coffee was missing, but they quickly quelled those hopes in case they proved futile.

"But it was obviously a very quick and secret operation," Violet said. "How will we ever find out how to trace them?"

"She's right," Brantley added. "We'll need to think of some sneaky way to discover the coffee nappers."

Suddenly, Gilan's head sprang up as he looked at them all with new light in his eyes. "Ladies, gentlemen, I have a cunning plan!"

To be continued!


	3. Random Dramatic Music

AN: And Hibernian princess has finally selected me to write chapter three! So, I own this chapter then. Unlike the rest of my stories though, I won't put a quote in the beginning. Ah well.

Chapter Three

Everyone stared at Gilan in expectation. The young ranger fumbled for something in the table, but eventually fell asleep on the floor.

Everyone stared. Zulla kicked him experimentaly.

"Yeah, he's dead."

Will glared.

"No he isn't. He just fell asleep from no caffeine."

"Okay-Wait, what?" Siobhan said, sounding frightened.

"He fell asleep from lack of coffee." Auryon said slowly.

"Then it could happen to any one of us!" Keiro said in terror.

"Balls." Mana said, summing up the situation.

"Oh! Idea!" Zulla shreiked.

Dramatic music began to play.

"We need something to tide us over for a bit. I think sugar should do the trick. And where's the music coming from?" Zulla said, shooting the random band a glare.

The music stopped.

"Yeah, but how are we supposed to get sugar? I'm not just eating the stuff flat out." Halt said.

"Duh. Put it in the sugar. No, wait, put the tea in the sugar- PUT THE SUGAR IN THE TEA! GOD!" She said, fumbling over her words. The Ranger scowled, before grabbing the mug she had refused earlier and dumping eight spoonfuls in, stirring it around in the hot tea before taking a sip.

Everyone looked on sceptically.

"Oh my god... IT TASTES GOOD!" Zulla shrieked.

Everyone scrambled for the sugar bowl.

Mana sighed, getting up to buy another round of tea.

"Hey, Brantly, Violet, little help here?"

The two looked up to see Mana struggling with several mugs, and got up to help her.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem."

After everyone had their fill of tea, and someone force-fed the sleeping Gilan sugar until he woke up, they set off for Norgate fief, figuring they could ask for coffee along the way, and worse come to worse Malcolm might have some coffee. After all, people were too scared to go near him, or even in thee woods. Maybe the theif hadn't gotten to him.

"It's going to be a long trip..." Siobhan sighed. (Heh, try saying that five times fast.)


End file.
